Letter

 

Here is a letter Amber wrote, that was distibuted to female inmates in the California Correctional institutions.

Letter 1

Hi. I want to take a moment to introduce myself. My name is Royal Amber Rojas, but you can call me Amber. I grew up in different parts of the world as a young kid, eventually moving to Cali at the age of 12. I got heavily into gangs from the start and by the time I was 17, I ended up in jail for a drive by shooting where I was the shooter and the driver. I blamed a lot of my life on the way I was raised, how my parents were never around, how my teachers would tell me I would never amount to anything, how I dropped out of school at a young age, how I was molested, how I was raped, how I was controlled and beaten by every man I was ever in a relationship with. You name it. The list goes on. I hated everyone. I thought it was me against the world. Until, there I was in that quiet jail cell with a lot of time to think. I thought about all the times I was molested. My mom or dad didn’t cause that. I thought about all the time I had to spend alone as a kid. My mom and dad had to work to keep food on the table, right? I thought about all the crazy stuff I used to do and blame it on my surroundings. When really all I had to do was “claim responsibility” and stop blaming everything that ever happened to me on someone else. I didn’t cause the molestation but I can take responsibility for continuing to let it bring me down… or… choose to look at myself as a strong individual that doesn’t let it dictate who I have become, right? I’ll be the first to admit, it feels good to get sympathy for something that happened to me. But it feels better to show that the traumatic experience was only making me a whole lot stronger. After I talk about my experiences and who I’ve become, people then realize, “damn, if she can do it then so can I.” I was told I would never be able to get a normal job and without an education I would end up resorting to the streets again. So…guess what I did once I got out? I got hired onto the same police department that arrested me. How? I CLAIMED RESPONSIBILITY for my actions and busted my butt to prove myself. I went back to school, got my GED, enrolled in college, joined the military as a single mom and didn’t quit every time someone told me what I was doing was impossible. Yea, I got rejected a lot of times but did I let that stop me? NO! I eventually got hired onto the same force that put me behind bars! I showed people that the word impossible doesn’t really exist. My point is I’m no better than you. You have the same power that I do. You can choose to create a new life for yourself whether it’s behind bars or out here on the streets. You can be that voice for the people around you. You can heal hearts that need your help to heal. You can be “the example.” Life doesn’t stop because you get locked up. If I would have started all the things I did before I hit the streets, like school and preparation for the “real” world then I would have had cut so much time off the hard work that I had to do when I got out. It doesn’t end with just one accomplishment. I even became a published author. WHAT? Who would have thought the girl that everyone said would end up dead, in jail, or on drugs would be writing books and speaking at big events. SO CAN YOU! You don’t think you could write a book while you’re sitting in your bunk? You don’t think that if you had a good lesson to teach they wouldn’t let you be a mentor to the people around you? You take responsibility for your life and of whom you really are. You set out to make the best that you can of whatever situation life places in front of you. How is life going to give you more opportunities if you complain about the one you already have and if you complained about the one before that. That’s what I had to realize. I had to realize that until I took responsibility and was grateful for every situation, and looked at every situation as a possibility for growth and progression, my life would have continued down a path of destruction. I wish I could snap my fingers and change your situation for you, but I can’t. I can only be an example and show you how I did it and hopefully help you see how you can be the example for someone else. You are just as strong as I am, if not stronger! All you have to do is take responsibility and choose to make the best of everything around you. Once you start going after your goals, there is no stopping you. I don’t have to tell you that though, because I think you already know how strong you truly are. It’s time for me to end this letter. I hope this letter brings a new understanding of how powerful you are and helps you take that first step to where you want to be.

—Royal Amber Rojas

A reflection of you!

What is love? Good question! I really am not sure. I think the purest form of love cannot even be comprehended. But I do know that we can surely create love from a “choice” perspective. Love isn’t about the feeling of butterflies in your stomach or the heart racing that happens when you first meet someone. Its about saying I am choosing to love you by listening to you, by sharing with you, by being your friend. There are so many different ways to love someone. It would take me all night to name them all but I think the most important example of love is honoring who the other person is and seeing their perfection. They may have certain things that don’t sit well with you or things that even upset you at times but remember… when someone does something to upset you, it is only because it is a reflection of what you either don’t like about yourself or a trigger that you allow to enter your space. For example: If someone told you that you were an alien from another planet you wouldn’t believe them right? Well maybe some of you would but for the most part you wouldn’t. You would hopefully just just say “thank you for sharing” and move on right? But if someone told you that you were stupid, ugly, or fat you would probably lose your mind and have a few words to say back, right? Wrong… they’re exactly the same concept. Allowing someone to come into your space and take your power of knowing you aren’t anything that anyone else says you are is so wrong. You are not what someone else says you are. And if someone does say things negatively towards you its only because it is a direct reflection of how they are feeling about themselves. That, my friends, is the exact opposite of love. Love is to choose to love the good, the bad, and the sometimes ridiculous of another person.

Gratitude with a smile,
Amber

Notes: All images used under creative commons license. tanakawho

You just do!

As I sit here typing this tonight, I wonder what she’s doing. I left her at IHop sitting at the table were I bought her and her little daughter something to eat. I know everything has its purpose. But sometimes that purpose is not easy to watch or experience. You see, I walked up to my son’s preschool class and there she was signing her child out. We’ll call her Angela. I could sense something was wrong so of course i asked her. She proceeded to tell me very quietly that she had no where to live. what do you say? what do you do? You just do…! I asked if i could take her and her daughter to eat. She said yes. During dinner she told me the story of how she has lost everything. No apartment, no money, no means of feeding her baby. BUT everything happens for a reason and it is no accident she was there as i walked into the classroom. I bought her dinner, gave her all the money I had left (bank account and all), and promised that no matter what i was committed to helping her create a new path for her and her little daughter. I don’t know if she is sleeping in her car as we speak. She said she had somewhere she could stay tonight but she may be saying that so she doesn’t feel like a burden.

My question is: Why are we as a human race allowing for our brothers and sisters to go hungry, to go without a place to sleep. Why is it more important to buy a big TV for your home then to feed a little child starving somewhere. Do you realize that the price of that television could literally feed a village in some countries. Do you think It bothered me to give her every dime I had left to my name? No… Money is always there when you need it. You just need to trust that it is there.

Of course I don’t need to know these answers. It is what it is. “You CAN be the change you would like to see in the world.”-Ghandi, or you can choose to do nothing, and that too, is what it is. But as you will notice if you start to see doors open for you and you choose to sit back and do nothing then you will also see doors start to close.